I have been telling the truth and I have been telling rainbow stories about me. All of those 30 minutes I have been sitting and making nice faces with the managers on interviews, I realized there are really only a few of those interviews that actually make you think and make a change in your mind.
I have never been on a job interview with unexpected topics, but my girl Marta has. She told me about it and said it was mostly unexpected because she had never thought about the things so she had to come up with the answers right on spot. The questions were not just: “What do you do on your free time?” and “How do you like to work?”. It was more of: “What do you see as the top 5 qualities of a person?” and “Do you see yourself as a tolerant person?”. Even though we have been talking earth and oceans about life, people and values, we never actually got to the top qualities. So we met after her job interview and we discussed it. I could only say three of the qualities that matched with what she also said – honesty, frankness, loyalty. Then I got stuck and she continued with helpfulness and the ability to see the person as one is. Since then I have been thinking about what are the two other of my top 5. I really admire the people who have learned to love, those who accept people the way they are. I like the ability to see the good side over bad, good humor, willingness to help, the ability to actually hear people and to react/respond to what they are saying. There were so much more, but I decided to stay with Marta on one more – ability to accept people the way they are. After weeks of slowly calculating I realized that the ability to actually hear people and to react/respond properly to what they are saying, it’s what people don’t know how to do, but those who do know are like angels.
Loyalty
Honesty
Frankness
Accept people the way they are
Hear people and react/respond properly to what they are saying
I haven’t always been straightforward until 2015 when I got the job in a Casino in Malta and it was a chaos. I was quiet at first. I didn’t complain and I didn’t say what I was actually thinking. Then the hell got loose and I made my colleges lives easier by being the only one who dared to go and say “excuse me, the job is sheet and what the fun is the schedule of 6 days working and one off?” I complained my ass off to every manager I could find and thanks to me not letting others step on my head, everyone got a normal schedule. That was the pure moment of realization that I have been letting people step on me way too long. So I would say honesty and frankness are two of the things I do not want to live without. To say what I want, love, hate, need, what hurts me, what makes me happy, what I feel and what I am afraid of, what I want to change, what I dream about. Saying it all out and not hiding from the people around saves up a lot of trouble for the loved ones or even for one itself. Loyalty – Keep promises, don’t say what you won’t do. Don’t play with one, if you want someone else. Be for the one person in any way possible, be the best friend, be a soulmate, be a lover, a life-partner, but don’t go around saying the same good things and promises to everyone making it all into bluesheet. And if you stay, stay. Stay when it is bad and stay when it is good. It is not one day I want you and another day I don’t. It’s I want you all of those days or I don’t want at all. Being loyal is what I live for. It’s what I seek in another person. Being loyal to others is as important as being loyal to yourself. Sadly nowadays loyalty, it’s just a game to play, it’s a face to fake.
Now back to Marta. She is the first friend of them ALL who stood up and came with me to the wonderful place called facing the reality together. She was the first person outside my family who has ever told me that she loves me, straight to my face and guess what, she even added: “exactly the way you are”. It was the very first time in my life I felt the power of those words. She is the kind of friend I learn from and who learns from me. It is a constant growing together in life, doesn’t matter if there are boyfriends or depressions. She was the one showing me that accepting people the way they are is what there should be more in this world because the feeling of being accepted is over all. I have been hiding myself and my moods, depression, my fears, my laugh or my jokes all my life. Yes, family knows and the family loves you no matter what, but to have the same kind of family love from a person you met randomly in your life, it’s a feeling I want to live with every day. Now I am trying my best to become the way Marta was to me. I want people to be able to be angry in front of me, cry or be nervous, do stupid jokes and tell everything they want. It is a new kind of freedom. Of course, that’s where accepting works stronger with honesty. Loved ones will tell you when it’s time to really focus on changing an attitude, to finally relax or to get your sheet together. Knowing when to say to someone to get their sheet together comes from hearing and responding. I have always been the huge fan of talking and I don’t mean talking and someone listening, I mean the conversation between two people where brain is being active and exploring deep inside of the thoughts. I have had one friend who made me feel like that. Every time we met, we knew it’s time to get to the very beginning of the thoughts. To dig into our hearts and get out all the feelings and to share it while getting a response from another person. Learning each other with words. It is like getting to know how a person will react to something that will happen, knowing when someone is feeling uncomfortable, knowing exactly word by word how to hurt another. Only by the very talking-listening. It might take years to get to the point of knowledge about your feelings and knowing another’s feelings, but it definitely is worth it. Also it is indescribable – like love is. Make up a list of top 5 qualities and write through WHY is it for you so important, the person you will learn about is you.
