NB – valuable is not used as in money, when I want to say something is valuable in money, I’ll say it’s expensive. Valuable will be something with a spiritual value.
Lately, I have found myself in a position of I-don’t-want-to-answer-that-question-about-what-I-do-who-I-am. I don’t find labels anymore defining or something enough. I know some labels I have accepted and some that I have chosen to be. For example, I am okay with a yogi, a photographer, a daughter, a girlfriend or even with some that go about my habits or personality. But I don’t think something so simple defines a person truly and I think that until the end of our days, we can’t describe ourselves to strangers truly and completely. What we can do is learn about who we are and learn about others more and more.
After years and years of being a different Matu every year, I have found answers and some labels to myself. One of them – Minimalist. This is what I will tell you about today and I will make sure that you will think about it too.
When I was a kid I had a lot of stuff. I tried collecting everything that seemed like something I maybe would like to do. Rocks, cards, stickers, anything that went with my memories, toys, hair stuff, makeup, nail polishes, clothes, DRESSES etc. I had so much stuff that I hated cleaning. What I always have loved is organizing and knowing where my things are.
Since I was a kid my room has always had a plan and I have always kept an eye on it to improve the plan. One thing I never did was get rid of stuff. I was super sad when clothes got old or I grew out of them. I did get bored fast with collecting rocks and makeup, but every time I just replaced it with another collection.
My worst collection has been clothes. I had 2 closets FULL of clothes and I had 0 winter clothes in these closets, so no, jackets and coats didn’t take up most of the space. It was all those tiny size clothes. It took me 2 hours to pick clothes for school and my goal was to have 100 dresses!!! AND YES I DIDN’T EVEN CARE IF IT WAS MY SIZE OR IF I LIKED IT. It was a horrible obsession with having things.
My change didn’t come with living under my parent’s roof, it came when I left it and I couldn’t fit it all in my luggage. That was the first time I did a huge cleanup, throwing and giving away a lot of stuff I realized that keeping them will be just a burden and I will not miss the things anyway.
Sad was that in Malta, where I went with my most-important-stuff luggage, I just started to collect things again. I got paid and I got lots of free time for shopping. I could not take all that with me when I wanted to leave after a year. I had to leave behind so many things and it was sad, again.
The good thing is that when you live with different people you start to realize what do you love. When you live with people who always breathe on to your neck about your mess, maybe you will start to hate cleaning and the other way around. I have been in both situations and I learned more about the situation where things were not organized.
When I came back from Malta and Norway, I decided to let go of past. That meant taking stuff to secondhand stores, throwing away and burning. It was amazing. Then my parents started moving and suddenly our home got a lot emptier because my mother decided that she is done keeping stuff “just because”. Of course, there are some things we need to keep just because but most of the things just waited and waited and waited…
Being aware of what you own and what surrounds you makes a huge difference in your everyday life. When you bury yourself under things just because, you will seriously bury the energy flow with it.
When I lived completely alone I kept everything clean, but I ain’t no superwoman either so I let myself have a rest and then clean it all at once. Usually, I take a day to clean and rest all week or sometimes more. Cleaning is not about the minimalism though.
I found myself being upset that I never have anything to wear, I never have good enough jewelry etc. I didn’t decide to make a change, it started actually with me getting upset and throwing away. There is a company in my hometown that takes old things, anything, from a bed to an earring. When I found out this place, I gave them one bag full of things every month. Then I found out that H&M takes any clothes and gives out -10% coupon.
That is what got me started, I got tired of having everything, but nothing. It has been a slow going and a long way because you can’t just throw away and give away everything you own and there is no point to do it all at once because that is not learning to control, you will just feel that empty hole and fill it with new stuff.
My mother has always taught me that nature doesn’t tolerate an empty space. Means that every time you lose a friend, another one will come. Every time you give away a thing, something comes to replace it. And well, most often I heard in my life “if you don’t let go of your old love, the right one can never come.” It is about already filled spaces and I actually believe it. I keep an eye on my closet every month, to slowly give away the things I don’t like or need anymore, so the things I actually need and like could find a way to me faster. Probably we look in the right places when are energy isn’t taken away with the “ugh” that things and people who we should have let go long time ago, are still there.
I totally fell in love having control over the things I owned, but not knowing why am I like this made me feel uncomfortable because people around me didn’t seem to get it. Collecting things is a habit like any other. Our grandparents have been perfect at it and I guess that this is what makes people feel ‘safe’, but the reality is that at some point, people forget, don’t know and will not have any control over the things they own, they just pile up and take a huge space in your life.
How did I get to the minimalism idea? My former workmate said I might like one youtube vlogger, I checked her out, clicked on her minimalism video, didn’t click with it, clicked on a next video which was some kind of a TEDx video and next to that one there was this TEDx – The art of letting go.
I watched it and I LOVED IT. It changed my view of the world in 20 minutes and I found myself. I am not like the minimalist like the 2 famous minimalists are but they say that a minimalist doesn’t have to have 1 spoon and 1 skirt, a minimalist has only things one actually needs, or that are important to one. There are no “but maybeeeeeee”, “I haven’t worn it for 2 years but maybeeeeeeeee”, “I don’t need it/like it but it was a gift….”
After watching the youtube video, I googled the guys and found out that they have a documentary also, I watched it and right away I sent it to one of my friends that I have always seen a girl on my level, learning and being more aware of life as it is. Her response was exactly what I had expected and even better because she suggested a documentary to me.
A minimalist is what I have been learning to be now for a year and my life feels so much better. Every time I decide that this is it for it, I let go of the trouble of having so much but nothing.
Steps to how to know if you really need something –
Is this the thing you have used and you know you are going to use more? Keep it.
Is this the thing you want to use but never had and you just think that you will someday. For example, a dress you bought that you love but you know you won’t wear it, you just hope you will at some point, think twice about the importance of keeping it.
Is this the thing that is there just because? You got it as a gift and you keep it just because, you got it from someone, can’t even remember and it is there just because, years ago it was important to you but now it is not and it is there just because? Sounds like this thing gives nothing to you.
Is this the thing that is there because you are too jealous to give it away? Maybe you know that this thing is not anymore for you what it could be to someone else but you are jealous to give it away? Like some clothes to a sister or old toys to some kids.
Is this the thing you used to love so much but now it doesn’t really fit into your life anymore. Are you keeping it just because you remember how important it was or is actually with values? Think twice about keeping the thing.
Is this the thing you took just because you got it free and now it is collecting dust and gives you nothing? Give it away.
Is this the thing that broke, is super old or has no use anymore, but you keep it just because you have always had it, even though you won’t miss it more throwing it away because it’s not good enough to use anyway.
There are 3 types of things that are worthy of keeping
Things we need/use
Things that are important for us and have value.
Things that actually make you feel good.
When I don’t need a thing anymore?
It’s broken
It’s not your size and you would never actually wear it (hey if it is not your size but you use it as motivation to lose weight, then it is something useful)
It does not make you feel good
You never use it
You have 100 same things
My life is constantly looking at my things and realizing their time ending in my life. I have never felt so good in my own life just because I know everything I own, I have chosen it and I choose what energy stays. I know that buying stuff makes us happy for a few seconds but things piling up will make it harder in a bigger plan.
I had so many earrings and bracelets, but I never wore them because they always seemed like I have nothing I like. Every time I were to pick one, I got frustrated because I knew I won’t find what I like. One day I sat down and sorted through – everything old-ugly, too used and the ones I had grown out, I gave away. All of the jewelry I have now is what I actually like and wear.
I don’t hate picking things to wear when I know that everything I own is what I ACTUALLY like, not what society has bought me to buy. Fast fashion is cool, but buy ONLY the things that you would see yourself wearing next year also when all those influencers don’t wear them anymore.
I invest in clothes that I should use for years and now I pick quality over quantity. This winter is the first time ever I have a jacket I see as beautiful, comfortable and warm. I payed more than I ever had, but now I know I don’t have to buy 4 others to feel better because I have one I absolutely feel good in and see as practical. My old jackets I sold or gave away.
I am happier with things I can actually use with a happy mind than to have several things that don’t meet my needs.
I have always been a girl liking change and that is one of the reasons I have a closet full of clothes not matching. I never had continuity. I want to have it now and since I started, I have learned about myself so much. My life is easier when I am aware of things and desires that are real or based on emotion or on the impact of society.
What to collect?
Only the things you actually need
Space for things and space for energy flow
Books you have read
Board games
Memories with friends
Places you have been to
Only really valuable things in your memory box
Experiences
Money for a bigger dream trip
TIME
What are the things Matu herself collects?
Natural tea
Photos/albums made of my life
Fridge magnets about places I’ve been to
A memory box of valuable things in my life
When people ask me what I want as a gift, I say something useful. When someone comes to visit and asks what should they bring I say fruits, not cake. When someone says they’ll owe me something “I’ll bring you chocolate next time”, I let them know that I would actually value something I would like to have like tea. My life is my choice and I have chosen the life of being aware. Maybe you will try it too. Try it out, every month find at least 1 thing that has had it in your life or is there eating your good energy instead of giving it.
Before throwing away think if you can sell it, give it to someone in need or take it to a reuse shop.
