In my life since the actual time I can remember, I have moved 10 times. 10 times I have packed all my stuff and started again. I counted the times only because of my man who counted how many times he has moved in this year. I don’t know if this is a lot, but I have always imagined the life of my friends who all lived most of their lives in the same place. I have been moving homes since I was a little kid. I remember accidentally leaving behind favorite dolls and other sweet things I never got back, always sorting through and picking what to take and what I don’t need in the new place.
It was always hard to leave homes in the past. I remember when my parents finally got the long wanted house and we were about to move out of the apartment we had lived in half of my life then (7 years). I was the only one who started crying whilst they were telling the news.
So 10 times – from my childhood countryside home (which I actually see as the whole house and the surrounding of the house more as a home than the apartment itself) to a city temporary home. Then back to childhood countryside home, then to the 7 years city home, from there to my current parents’ house.
Then I decided to move to Malta which was also – moving to Malta -> moving to another side of the island -> moving back to the same side of the island. Then moving to Norway and after that back to Estonia.
I feel like moving homes has made me more confident about the unknown, it has taught me to adapt in different situations and to live in different conditions, climate or even with totally different people and habits. I feel now that there was actually no bad experience. I came out of all the good and hard times stronger and with the knowledge, some will never know or understand. I have loved the times in all the places I have lived and I am thankful for all the places that were my sweet protecting four walls.
The super 11 was a few days ago and I wanted to write about it because this is the first time ever I feel like this is the right thing. I feel my heart is in the right vibe with the decision.
I moved together with my love. We have a beautiful perfect apartment (absolutely perfect for a first home and hey, let’s hope from this one we only upgrade).
This time moving to me was something I actually wanted to happen. I wanted to leave Tartu behind and start fresh again, maybe the moving in my past has kind of made me need the change in life from time to time. At the same time, I have always dreamed of having a HOME. It does not actually mean that now I have 4 walls that I decorate because I have always had that. I mean that I finally have someone to have the feeling of home. Someone to build a LIFE with.
I have a feeling in my heart that has been growing for a year and has been ready to bloom for a long time. I want to do so many things that I now have time for because there won’t be days and hours put on leaving and going and coming. All my hobbies and the things I want to learn. It is like I am a motivation bomb. I always wanted to do these things. I guess at least some of us in this world know the feeling of one being so inspired, but having 0 motivation or no time because of the distance one has with a caring human touch and love. Now just because I have a good partner next to me, not the other side of the country, I have time in my hands.
Time is in my own hands, this is our home and this is my life now.
I will slowly start writing about all the things I want to do and try and learn and I will always keep my mind open for the wind of change.
